when life hands you lemons, squeeze lemon juice in its eyes

but.

i'm in montreal, supposedly tobe learning french.

i have been for two weeks, which would be why i haven't been on....

:)

i'll be back home at some point next saturday.

see ya!

my buzziversary was last week on the 23rd....

i love you all.

i know i haven't been here much, but school has gotten crazy stressful and i've been kinda reclusive lately....

:)


alright, so now i have to list everyone that i love dearly on here.

this may take a while.

if you aren't on here its because i left to take a nap.

millieann282000/goldbrickdreams - you are truly wonderful and kind people and you ALWAYS make me laugh.

claymore - my wonderful and crazy friend, your hilarious pictures and anecdotes have made me a far happier person that i would be otherwise.

liat -  you're just weird and funny and interesting. and your unnatural obsession with zombies has brought me hours of entertainment.

panasonicyouth/mark -  you're amazing. i read your blogs faithfully and i love every single one of them. and you provided the QOTD forum through which i've made all of the friends on this list.

jennybean - one of the nicest people on buzznet, you are always there for me when i'm sad or am having problems.

SEB - you get capital letters because you are extra-super-special awesome. you've become a very good friend of mine and i'm incredibly happy for pete wentz's existence if only for the fact that he brought you here.

funksteena - the one and only funks. there isn't much i can say about except you have the cutest kids on the planet and your incredible capacity to care about other people never ceases to astound me.

paxgitmo - crazy, intimidating, beautiful, genius..... i admire you so much and i can only aspire to be, at some point in my life, half as wonderfully insane as you are.

lettherebelove - oh my goodness. i don't know you all that well but i love talking to you and i think you're truly incredible.

huldaholm - one of my first friends a buzznet, you have completely reshaped my thoughts on many things and i have so much respect for you and you always surprise me and inspire me to be better than i am.

hungoverandunder - michael.... oh my. you are kind, and gentle, and wonderful, and sweet, and just all around amazing and you ALWAYS make me feel better when i'm down.

woani - our conversations help me sort through whats going on in my life and you always ground me in reality.

heartsapocalypse - you have an amazing ability to make me smile whenever i read something you've written.

jenda - i love your never-ending experiments with hair and style and how you manage to keep your same jenda-ness inside you always and mold every style to be you, instead of you being molded into the style.

spanky - last but not least, the monkey. the wonderful egotistical tabloid star of a monkey. you always make me laugh.

so yesterday i went to Hawthorne to hang out with Taylor and her friend Fiona. We were going to go to Target to get skinny jeans for me. And apparently Jules had been invited even though i hate shopping for clothes with guys (i know.... stupid. but i really do). so we meet at ben and jerry's and we go over to the Red Light and hang out for a bit then we go to Oasis pizza.

we order 3 slices of cheese.

i get the burnt one.

when we go to sit down, i realize i want a soda so i go back and get one.

when i come back to the table, they're almost finished, and they all get up to leave anyways even though i am not even close to being done so i have to eat as fast as i can and throw like half of it away.

THEN.

we go to Fred Meyer's and i lag behind a little because i'm looking at the jewelry and they run off and into the elevator, and try to close it before i can get in. but i do get in.

after Fred Meyer's we decided to go over to Naked City, a really cool clothing store.

we get there and i see a pare of skinny jeans, they're black and IN MY SIZE!! so i turn totaylor, and i go 'okay so i'm gonna go change into these and then i know you guys would normally walk out while i was in the changing room, but please, PLEASE don't because i hate that'. taylor says of course they wont.

so i go in, and as soon as my pants hit the floor they're out of the store, and i can't really chase after them.

so i decide to try on the pants anyways and they fit perfectly, so i call fiona's cell phone to tell them and she doesn't answer. so i put my normal pants back on and i leave. i thought they would be waiting out side or something, but they weren't. they had just disappeared. so i went over to starbucks and waited for fiona to call or something. (taylor and jules didn't have their phones). i waited for FORTY FIVE minutes. when my mom called i lied and said that taylor's mom was going to come pick them up and jules had to go home because his moms wanted him home. so she says she will come pick me up and she does.

still no call.

fast forward to about 2 hours later. i am watching The Nanny Diaries with my mom and taylor calls on fiona's phone.

and she is like 'what happened, why didn't you come find us?' and i was like, 'gee i don't know maybe it had something to do with the fact that hawthorne has like 50 stores and i had no way of knowing which one you guys were in' and she is like 'well, sorry... hey what was the thign with the chair' because i had teased jules about telling them. its just a stupid thing. and i didn't, because i would never ever ever tell someone something that the person that told me wouldn't want them to know. so then she is like 'ok bye'.

then about two hours after THAT, jules calls and is like 'ummmm er, well.... uh.... i don't think that we should be as close of friends as we are' and hangs up on me.

when taylor calls, i'm crying, and she is kind of laughing a little at something fiona had said and she was like 'oh well i'll see you tomorrow'.

and thats it.

i have no idea what exactly they think of me, but its apparent that i was pretty much just somebody to bitch to and abuse. jules has done a lot of other shit to me that i don't particularly want to talk about. but i realized something.

whenever i called them about MY problem, like when my friend Sam died, all i got was an 'i'm sorry' and then 'omg okay so my day was horrible'.

he only times i was allowed to talk about my feelings, my problems, was when they were the same as theirs.

I just want to SCREAM.

This last week has been horrible.

More than a week, actually.

Last Sunday, I got home from rehearsal, and I get this phone call.

Its this hysterical woman, crying about something.... I couldn't really get what she was saying.

After a little bit, she calmed down enough to tell me that a guy that I have known since I was little was shot and killed.

He was amazing.

He was a few years older than me, like 18 or 19. Our parents were friends. They always had dinner parties, and Sam and I would always be the ones who the parents talked quietly about, the ones who 'just weren't living up to their potential'. Both of us had tested really really well on this one test, and so we were forever marked as 'advanced' and having 'comprehension skills above normal grade level'. (I scored higher than he did when he took it... hehe). So we bonded quite a bit. We started talking outside the dinner parties (I was like 10, he was around 14... I really don't know how this happened). He introduced me to good music, and he made me realize that being different was okay. He helped me through my 'awkward teenage phase' which, for me, happened when I was about 12. Again... I don't know why... but whatever.

But now, he's gone.

And I've been trying to cope.

Seriously.

I know that a lot of people hate it, and its understandable considering that it has been completely taken over by corporations.

But still......

Next time you go dwntown and you see a little kid pointing and a Macy's wondow, watch them for a little bit. Look at that joy in their eyes.

You had that once, I promise.

You had that total joy of thinking that Santa was going to come down the chimney and give you presents.

So I figure, why lose that?

Christmas is about being with people you love, whether that means friends, family, coworkers, pets.... it doesn't matter.

Even if you only have 1 freind in the whole world, spend Christmas with them and it can be amazing.

Allow yourself that childs joy.

Love and Happy Holidays,

Christine

SUPERMAN DIED.

CRAAAAAP.



I'm crying.....

Goddammit.

He was 69.... he shouldn't have died.....

RIP Knievel.

And just when America really needed a superhero, too....

Mmkay.

So....

I'm sure you guys are getting sick of my romantic troubles.

But I think I've found my answer.

Though it isn't one that I like.

So I think that my problem is that I get too physical too fast.

I let them think that I'll do anything, when I won't.

Which makes me sad, because I really, really like that part of relationships...

Hehe.

So I'm thinking that next time, I take it slow.

Not TOO slow, I mean...

But slowER than normal.

You know?

Wonderful.

Thanks for tuning in.

Dammit all to hell.

I really am a slut.

I think I may have to become a nun.

True fact, brothas.

Its for my own good and the good of all guys on the planet with the right things to say.

I ruin people, I really do.

All the guys I've ever dated have been somehow harmed by our relationships.

And now, all the guys I HAVEN'T dated but have wanted to and done something about it are REALLY harmed by our relationship.

I won't tell you details, but basically this is what happened.

I went to the movies with some friends.

One of them put his arm around my shoulder.

So I snuggled. He's big. He really holds you.

We were like that for the rest of the movie.

And then nearing the end, he takes my hand.

At this point all I'm thinking about is how amazing and wonderful he is.

He IS wonderful.

He's a good football player, he goes to church every Sunday, he loves his mom, he takes care of his younger sisters and he gives AMAZING hugs.

And so I hold his hand back.

When we got out of the movie he kissed me.

Hard. And long. And good.

This may seem fairly normal to some people. We're friends. We like each other. La dee da.

But no, as it is my life, there has to be some sort of horrible wrench thrown into the situation.

He had just recently broken up with my friend. Like, recently as in Tuesday.

Mmhmm.

See?

This is why I should be banished to a Swiss nunnery where they have never even heard of penises.

Anywho.

How was your day?

I don't tell you that you shouldn't.

I don't tell you that you can't.

I don't tell you that its stupid.

But you tell me I shouldn't.

And you tell me I can't.

And you tell me its stupid.

And I've wondered for so long

What would happen if I did.

I thought we'd be okay.

I've never been so wrong.

I'm in a depressed/artistic mood. Speaking of past 'romances'. An encounter with an ex at a show.

I'm an emo kid, nonconforming as can be....

Player

Smoothly, you come and sit by her. You look down, and through your bangs you have that cute little smile.

A melt-your-heart smile.

How could she resist?

Her hand goes to her collarbone. Playing with her necklace.

Oh... she just passed you a paper.... yup.

You got her number.

Thats gotta be a record time.

At least I held out for a while.

You give her your mega-watt smile. Like a kid at a candy shop. Damn.

I'm remembering why I gave you my number now...

You didn't find out how young I was for at least a week.

That was a wonderful conversation.

Well, this one doesn't look 13...

I wish you the best of luck.

As I leave, I may or may not hurt you.

Oops.

I slipped, I swear....

I didn't mean to spill it....

You see my face and stalk away.

Ahhhh I love catching up with old friends.

I hope that jacket was expensive, you prick.

To: someone

I miss you.

I miss when we could talk.

I miss when you used to pick up the phone and I know you would be excited to hear my voice.

I miss when we used to be able to talk for hours about some seemingly insignificant detail of a movie, and both of us would just get it. We were in tune with each other.

And now, you answer then phone and when I say 'hey' your voice drops.

When you say you miss me and you love me you always falter.

I know we're 'just friends' but we were so, so much more. Even though neither of us would admit it.

I miss the time when I knew you felt the same way.

(you've always been on the top of my ladder)

what the hell is wrong with me.

I let a friend of mine... well.... 'feel me up' last night....

I was out of it, and it felt really good...

Shit.

What did I do?

Watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/v/fJuNgBkloFE

(I can't do a link. sorry...)

This is from CNN Britain I think.

These are my fellow countrymen.

If you're not American, please do not think that I am anywhere NEAR the level of stupidity shown in this video.

If you are American,

STAY IN SCHOOL.

Or else you will turn out like that.

Watch the video before you read this part.

I'm going to answer the questions asked.

This is off the top of my head, tell me if I'm wrong. Oh it also has basically what I was saying..... well, more... shouting at the computer while watching.

Name a country that begins with 'U'.
Aside from the USA? Ummm... Uruguay.

Who is in the Coalition of the Willing?
Oh damn.... ummm. Denmark.... the USA, der.... Japan.... Italy... Spain.... United Kingdom... Czech Republic....  Nicaragua.... the Netherlands? Turkey, I think.... El Salvador,  Slovakia, Poland... Romania... Azerbaijan,  Colombia... I think the Philippines as well. I know I'm missing like 20.

What is the religion of Israel?
Judaism. My baby cousin knows that. But then, he's Czech.

THIS QUESTION MADE ME HIT MY HEAD ON MY DESK.

REPEATEDLY.

THE QUESTION IS..... what religion are Buddhist Monks?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Gee.... I don't know. BUDDHIST, MAYBE?

Who won the Vietnam War?
America.... I guess. Well there is debate about that.

Who is Fidel Castro?
Dictator of Cuba...... duh. We've been trying to kill him for like 5 million years.

YET ANOTHER RETARD QUESTION.

How may sides does a TRIANGLE have?
Gee.... triangle.... tri means 3..... ummmm 4?

NO. YOU FAIL. IT HAS 3 SIDES.

What is the currency used in the UK?
The pound. Dum da dum dum DUH!

In terms of the war on terror, who do you think should be the next country to be invaded?
NONE. NO INVASIONS. BAD. NO.

The one that probably will be? Iran. BUT IT SHOULDN'T.

Where is Sri Lanka?
If I had a map, I'd show you.....

I think the question was where is Iran.... but I'm not sure.
I know where that one is too.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! They put all the names on Australia. This would be absolutely hilarious if I weren't crying.

He pointed wrong. North, on a map, is up. East is to the right, South is down, West is left. I know this because its Never Ever Smoke Weed, clockwise. See? I'm smart...

Kofi Annan is a drink, True or False.
FALSE. Kofi Annan was the..... ummmm.... secretary something of the UN.

Who is Tony Blair?
He was the British PM, who recently resigned.

Who is in the Axis of Evil?
Iran, North Korea and Iraq.

Who was the first man on the moon?
You don't know this. Really. NEIL ARMSTRONG. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS. ARGH. *more head-beating-on-desk action*

RECREATED. NOT REINCARNATED YOU FUCKHEAD.

What is a mosque?
Its where Muslims go to practice their faith. Like a church.

How many kidney's does a person have?
2. Otherwise there would be no kidney transplants. Don't EVER reproduce.

What is collateral damage?
Its like.... its from the Army... its the term for when they accidentally kill one of their own people. Friendly fire.

How many world wars have there been?
TWO. WORLD WAR ONE AND WORLD WAR TWO. Its pretty easy to keep track of them.

Which state does KFC come from?
Where does Kentucky Fried Chicken come from? Ummmm... Mississippi? FALSE. Kentucky. HENCE THE NAME KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN.

Star Wars is based on a true story, true or false?
I'm sorry Mark. I know this is disappointing and hard for you to hear, but Star Wars didn't actually happen.

What are Hiroshima and Nagasaki famous for?
They were bombed by the atom bomb. THEY ARE SOME OF THE MOST HISTORICALLY SIGNIFICANT EVENTS OF THE 20TH CENTURY! GO DIE IN A HOLE!

How many Eiffel Towers are there in France?
One. If you didn't know that, please go put your head in a microwave.

What is Al Quaeda?
They are a Sunni Jihad (sp?) military group in the Middle East. Osama Bin Laden.

YASSER ARAFAT WON A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE! HE IS NOT A JIHADDIST!

Where was the Berlin Wall?
Uhhhh... Berlin. Which is in Germany. CASTRATE YOURSELF. I DO NOT WANT LITTLE YOUS WALKING AROUND ON THIS EARTH!

The Language spoken in Latin America is Latin, true or false?
FALSE. Latin is a dead language!!!!!!!!!



I apologize if I was too angry.

But this just makes me mad. This is why everyone laughs at us.

STAY IN SCHOOL. I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS. Do you want these people running our country?

I despise Huldaholm.

Grrrrr.

Anyways.

1. You post your top 10 fantasy guys/girls
2. You tag 10 people.
3. You CANNOT tag someone who has already been tagged.
4. You have to let the people you tagged know that they've been tagged.
5. These are the rules they must be repeated every time.
6. THERE MUST BE PHOTOS! AT ALL TIMES!

These are in no particular order. And I tried to do photos but it didn't work. Sorry.

Cillian Murphy

I saw him in a movie when I was in Ireland called On the Edge. And the first thought I had was 'holy fuck that guy is beautiful'. The movie was good too. But he's just.... yummy.

Johnny Depp


I don't think I really need to explain this one....

Jim Morrison


Well.... I mean... he's amazing... and gorgeous.... and JIM MORRISON. He's freaking perfect. My friend Taylor (and her boyfriend....) both agree to this point. Jim Morrison is possible the most beautiful human to ever walk this earth.

Ryan Ross

I know. I know. He's from P!ATD. But.... he's beautiful.....

Billie Joe Armstrong

Well he's just amazing, isn't he. Makes great music, supports wonderful organizations (NRDC!!!), and is.. well he's just damn sexy.....

Judd Nelson (in the Breakfast Club. Thats it.)

This was my favorite movie for like 2 years just because he was in it and gorgeous. I'M CRACKIN SKULLS. A+

Glen Hansard

He's a brilliant actor, brilliant musician, and he's actually pretty good looking. And he's Irish. I absoutely die for Irish brogues.

Wilmer Valderrama

I've watched That 70s Show practically my whole life. I never thought he was hot. And then I saw him at the VMA's or something..... omfk. He's gorgeous.

James Franco

I know he was in Spidey 3..... but.... I mean, just look at him......

Tom Felton

DON'T JUDGE ME.

And I tag angelornot, jenda, paxgitmo, liat, claymore, millieann282000, afiscaustic, kitten76, woani, and deathbysupression.

I saw a movie on Friday.

It was called 'Once'.

 

It is now my new favorite movie.

Written and directed by John Carney, an Irish guy who wrote and directed another one of my favorite movies, 'On the Edge' with Stephen Rhea and Cillian Murphy.

The movie is set in Dublin, and is about a street musician, whose name is never said, and an immigrant from the Czech Republic, also unnamed, who become friends. Its a musical, with brilliant vocals and acoustic guitar and piano. The street musician, who is played by Glen Hansard of the band The Frames (which, funnily enough, was the band whose CD I bought when I was in Ireland earlier this year) and the immigrant, played by Markéta Irglová, meet when the guy is playing on a street in Dublin and she stops to talk to him about his music.

 

Throughout the movie, the two of them tell stories of past lovers and slowly reveal their budding love for each other, completely through song.

 

And it is not the sort of random-people-singing-and-dancing-in-the-street type musical, all the songs are played in a way that, if you saw it happening in real life, you wouldn’t find it strange. The songs are all originals, and very good. I’m looking for the soundtrack as I type this.

 

It was made in 2006 in Ireland, but only released in the states about a month ago. Its absolutely brilliant.

 

Seriously, go see it.

 

Like, NOW.

 

It was amazing.

Its time for a good old fashioned rant from me. My rants are a bit different than other peoples... they're just questions.

Why is it that when I wear a shirt that doesn't cover everything I get called a slut, but when Paris Hilton does a sex video she is called a 'troubled girl'? Is feminism so forgotten that most teenage girls know EXACTLY what Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears are doing this weekend but hae no idea who Nancy Pelosi is? That people care more about sluts than the women who are actually gonna change this world?

Why is it that when we get one building run into by a plane that we go completely batshit insane? Does no one realize that the Iraqi's have that happen on a daily basis by American troops? Is this country so bloated up with its own self righteousness that we believe that if they kill one of us, we kill 50 of them? Is that right? When you catch a murderer, you don't kill their parents.

The amount of money that the United States spends on military and defense in one day could feed a third world country for 10 years. I wish that was a joke. Why do we even pretend to care about other people in this world when all we really are is a bunch of apathetic imbeciles with no time for anyone but themselves?

In the constitution, there is this wonderful little thing called the separation of church and state. But then there is also the whole anti-gay marriage thing which is a strictly religious ideal. How does that even happen? Well I guess nobody pays attention to that old rag anymore... after all, Habeas Corpus is for losers.

I have been in public school since I was six. Just now am I starting a private one. The difference is so huge it makes your head spin. In public schools, you share an outdated (my science textbook last year was from 1987), falling apart textbook with three people. In private school everyone gets a brand new book that is generally less than 3 years in print. In public school, teachers teach at least two subjects. In private school, each subject has at least two teachers. Why does our government think that people who can't afford a private education don't deserve one of at least that quality? Its sick. And wrong.

America is not number one. Nowhere even close. We don't take care of our poor, we don't educate our children, and we violate the basic rules of our constitution on a daily basis.

Thats all for now...

I leave tomorrow (Sunday) morning for an overnight camp.

I'll be back on Friday.

Try to have fun while I'm gone.... I know it will be SO hard.

Lol.

I love you all!

And I will miss you very very much.

I got tagged by Hulda (Huldaholm) into doing this, so I did

Here are the rules:

1) Only list 8 facts.
2) You must then list 8 TAGS at the end of the post. This means you must name 8 people on Buzznet who now must do the same blog.
3) Go comment on their profile and tell them to come read yours! I want participation.

1) I can't stand gold. I think its gaudy, ugly, and pointless. I like silver though, its delicate and reminds me of ice.

2)  I have always been a big traveler but this year was the fist time I actually went outside North America, which I left twice, to go to Ireland and Costa Rica.

3) I actually do sing in the shower. Last night it was 'Hey There Delilah' by the Plain White T's and the night before that it was 'THe Long and Winding Road' by The Beatles.

4) I hate akwardness. If there is an akward silence, I go insane and say something stupid. I hate them. If someone is acting like an idiot and they don't know it, I feel like killing myself. I get embarassed for other people.

5) I still daydream about being rescued from fire breathing dragons by hot guys in armor.

6) I have never had a dream that wasn't a nightmare.

7) I'm a procrastinator, but I work really well under pressure. I have finished entire projects in one morning before I go to school.

8) I'm a binge eater. I normally eat really healthy, but Every once in a while I will go crazy and eat like 5 pop tarts and a pint of ice cream. Ugh.

I tag Millieann282000, NoMoreBeige, Bizarreland, HeadPhonic, Jenda,  Woaini, Claymore and Liat.

Get to it.

This journal is about a place thats really special to me that is closing down.

There is a music store in Northwest Portland called Music Millennium. The company has been around since 1968 and the store itself, on NW 23rd and Johnson has been around for 30 years. Music Millennium is the oldest record store in the Pacific Northwest.

It has a great selection, great people, and it always smells like incense. It has a stage there that has hosted people like Cyndi Lauper, Weezer, and Sonic Youth. The staff are really nice and always smile when you come in and make sure you get what you came in for, and often give you tips on other stuff you might like. It has both mainstream and local music of every genre.

Also, it is a big supporter of a local organization, Keep Portland Weird. They help small, local business's get started and stay on their feet, to keep Portland as wonderful and...well... weird as it is. (I have the t-shirt and the bumper sticker... It helps that they look good. )

It has its last day on August 31st.

It is a huge part of Portland's history and I'm going to miss it SO much.

Fortunately there is one other branch that WON'T be closing (thank Todd) on Burnside. But I like this one the best.

I have some pictures of it in my gallery, go check it out.

Its official, my parents are getting divorced.

.....and I want waffles.

I hate it when people bullshit, I really do.